Since it's been a few days and a lot has happened (there is so much learning, new experiences, and reflecting with the Whole30 I'm a little bit blown away!) I'm going to stick with a bullet point list of key thoughts from days 10-13.
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First of all, holy cow, I can't believe it's day 10 already (I always write "in the rears" so I'm writing the day(s) after...) and I'm sure happy I'm 1/3 of the way there. I'd like to reflect just a little bit on expectations vs. reality. Because I Dinner was over at my BFF's place tonight! We talked beforehand about the Whole30, answered some questions about how it was different than Paleo (from what I know of Paleo!), and obligingly went to the store to load up on veggies and turkey! I thought it worked well that he made the veggies with simple spicing/dressings that were 100% to be compliant, then I was responsible for spicing the meat. The base ingredients of Whole30 are pretty straight forward and simple, but it's the flavoring that gets tricky. So I would definitely recommend this method if you're going to tag-team cooking with a friend :)
Breakfast - 1 "mom-lette" - Small apple with almond butter - Nectar of life (coffee) Lunch - Semi-tropical spinach/coconut/mango smoothie (I know this isn't condoned on the Whole30, but I have to be realistic here and not every time will my life perfectly fall in line while on this plan... The important thing is I don't lose steam or let it get me down I wasn't perfect for one meal. I condone my decision! I used only compliant ingredients and I just didn't have time to make my salad during the lunch rush-home routine. It's not going to a common occurrence and I don't feel guilty!): spinach, almond milk, coconut, ginger, frozen banana, frozen mango, frozen strawberry, raw cashews Dinner - Sauteed ground turkey with avocado/salsa verde sauce - Roasted broccoli with garlic - Cabbage and celery salad with dijon/vinegar/EVOO dressing What a good weekend! It went by all too quickly though, of course.
M and I stumbled onto the conversation I was pretty sure would happen from the beginning... How is this going to impact him? I'll keep this brief, but the bottom line is it's frustrating for him. He won't 'deprive' himself and I get that, but I'm not asking him to join me on this. He'll eat what I make, but he won't cut anything out either. He prefaced a question last night with this, "I'm nervous to say this, because I don't know how you'll feel and I don't want you to be angry..." He had a craving for ice cream and asked if I'd be okay with him running to the mart to get some. Which I thought was sweet (no pun intended)! He was being considerate and respectful in my eyes- but to him it was frustrating he had to ask at all. That having me do this made him feel awkward, or limited, or like he can't have certain things around me. We also had a discussion about the division of cooking (because I've seriously been doing a metric sh*t ton with all the meal prep and cooking breakfast rather than just oats in a bowl...), mainly that he's willing to help, but doesn't know what to make and won't adhere to my rules if he's making the meal because he won't be the one messing up what I'm doing. Anyway- here are a few thoughts on doing the Whole30 without your SO. Be okay with their response If they get frustrated, accept it. If they are confused or just don't get it, accept it. If they feel guilty some nights eating something in front of you, accept it. Their response is their deal (so long as it's within reason, of course. If they make fun of you or don't respect your decision, that's another discussion altogether). So long as they are not reacting to your direct actions in relation to them - e.g., if you're forcing them to join or you're actively spiteful/bitter towards them when they're eating sweets in front of you, those are no-no's - let them feel the way they feel. I thinking this part is very important. Just like you are going to feel jealous they're drinking a beer while you're out, or you get severe carb-deprivation hanger, or feel weak on day 14 that you're not even half way and who are you to think you were strong enough to do this... Your feelings are yours and they are valid. So are theirs. Understand that your decision will impact your partner, I don't see a way around it, but I do see a way through it. It's not forever and it's a great communication venue. And for anyone else out there plagued Have a conversation about the Whole30 before you start because it could cause some serious tensions. You have to have a clear understanding about logistics including e.g. a) who will be doing the cooking b) how much c) how you feel about them eating/drinking in front of you. I'd also recommend having a discussion about why you're doing the Whole30. It will give them insight into your motivations and help them think about why you're doing this. For example... imagine your SO buys a beer while you're out and you don't. SO rolls their eyes internally and thinks, "Great, now I feel guilty she can't have a beer and here I am, 'flaunting' it in front of her... I'm not trying to flaunt it! I just want a beer, is that so wrong? Why is that so wrong?" Instead, if you explain your reasons, that same inner dialogue could change to something like this: "Ok she's not getting a beer because she wants to break a habit of mindlessly getting drinks when we go out. She's strengthening her willpower and completing a personal challenge." It changes the focus from not having a beer to personal gains and motivations. |
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